Moscow Informer - Issue 1, Summer 1900

     Greetings citizens of the Russian Empire and readers of the World.  This humble paper has been founded on the order of His Excellency Tsar Nicholas II to inform the citizens of the mighty Russian Empire of what is happening in these fast paced modern times.  The new century promises to be one of peace, prosperity, and power for Russia and her friends around the world.  We will do our best to present the news as it transpires and to the best of our abilities.

     In France, the Republic has been ended in a bloodless coup and the Bourbon dynasty has resumed its rightful throne.  His most Catholic Majesty Charles Raphael d'Bourbon has been coronated as the new King of France.  He has pledged his sacred honor to restoring France to its rightful place upon the world stage and to expand and protect the Catholic faith wherever its adherents may be found.  One of King Charles' first acts was to publicly call for the abdication of Italy's Victor Emmanuel III and to return Italy to what he declared was "its rightful place as the Papal States under the rules of the most pious and wise Pope Leo XIII;" Victor Emmanuel did not deign to dignify this proclamation with a response.  The editors of this humble paper wish King Charles a long and peaceful rule and Bon Chance in his endeavors!

 

King Charles Raphael d'Bourbon

    In England, Albert Edward has abdicated the throne in favor of his son and our sovereign's cousin George V.  Upon ascending to the throne, George V immediately dissolved the ancient Parliament to ensure a free hand in expanding Britain's interests.  George's father, Albert Edward, was recently sighted in St. Petersburg meeting with his nephew Tsar Nicholas.  Our friends at the British Court have heard rumors of support from their ancient ally Portugal, but what that tiny and rather insignificant nation can offer to aid the might of the British Empire can hardly be fathomed.

George V

 

Albert Edward and Tsar Nicholas aboard the Baltic Fleet

    Sultan Abdul Hamid II of the Ottoman Empire recently issued a cryptic message concerning a new ally of the Sick Man of Europe, a group calling itself the CONWHDIOSORS.  We have been unable to identify this unnamed ally, most certainly a group of radical fundamentalists.  This announcement was met with a response by George V: "it is in the best interests of Western Europe to move beyond the internal rivalries of previous centuries; a divided West is vulnerable to the pet vultures of the Old Turk."  Strong and wise words from a magnanimous man who clearly only desires peace and prosperity for all Europeans.  Rumors from our Orthodox friends in Constantinople have indicated a possible move by the Mohammedeans to make one last show of their fading empire, extending control over lost lands in North Africa and across the Aegean.  Surely this attempt to extend the waning empire to the height of the Caliphate of old is more than the aging empire can manage.  We hope these are nothing more than mere rumors and that the Turks do not intend to violate Bulgarian independence or the treaty of San Stefano hard fought for and won only 20 years ago.

Sultan Abdul Hamid II

    Our most kind and benevolent sovereign recently gifted a fine hound to his cousin, the German Kaiser Wilhelm.  In recent months the Kaiser has done much hot winded saber rattling, but his goals and aims are known only to himself; our sources at the German Chancellery have not been able to provide any insight into the Kaiser's intentions for this new century.  Perhaps he is merely compensating for his weak hand, perhaps he intends to inflame the old rivalry with France, perhaps his eyes are set to loftier goals in Central Europe and the Baltic; your guess, dear reader, is as good as mine!

Kaiser Wilhelm

    Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary was recently seen in Serbia.  Our reporters in the Balkans have reported that he met with local government and student leaders who unanimously requested the Austro-Hungarians intercede on their behalf should old Johnny Turk try to watlz his way into the Balkans.  Why they would ask a Catholic king and not send envoys to the mightiest nation in the Orthodox World, we cannot say.  Hopefully, it is merely due to proximity to the Austrians and not a slight or snub against our own beloved monarch.

 

Emperor Franz Josef

Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Serbia

    Nothing has been heard from Italy, the last we have heard, dear reader, is that Victor Emmanuel III rules benevolently and is beloved by his countrymen.

Victor Emmanuel III

     And lastly, dear reader, news from our beloved Motherland!  Tsar Nicholas publicly proclaimed for one and all: "Let it be known in good faith and benevolence that the Bear of Mother Russia will protect & defend the integrity of her Slavic and Orthodox Cubs in the Balkans against any who would subdue or otherwise harm them!"  Whether this is a serious warning to those who would subjugate our Orthodox kin or merely empty bloviating is yet to be seen.  As previously noted, Albert the father our Britain's George V and uncle-by-marriage to our own Tsar, recently visited St. Petersburg.  The two were seen touring the Baltic Fleet in their naval finery, discussing family gossip, and the latest in naval technology.  Sources have confirmed a stream of ambassadors, emissaries, envoys, telegrams, and other communiques streaming in and out of the Summer Palace going to and from the various powers of Europe.  Our sources have told us that much of this has been idle family gossip between the Tsar and his cousins, but letters bearing the seals of the fleur-de-lis and crescent moon have been spotted in the Tsar's mail.  Most certainly nothing more than the usual diplomatic niceties, it is highly dubious that His Highness would stoop so low as to form an alliance between the infidels and the schismatics.  It has been noted that no communication has been seen originating from either the Italian Peninsula or from beyond the Danube.  Sources at the General Staff have heard of general military maneuvers and training exercises to be conducted over the Summer by the fleets at sea and the armies in the field.  The Generals are most anxious to try their hands at a new training aid sent over by Kaiser Wilhelm, a curious game meant to simulate modern warfare.  This game, Wilhelm claims, is the reason the Prussian generals won their victory over the French so quickly back in '71; in true Germanic fashion it has the precise if unimaginative name that translates to "War Game."

Tsar Nicholas II; Guardian of the East, Protector of Orthodoxy, Patriarch of all Slavs

BREAKING

 

    Just prior to printing this inaugural issue, we have seen a diplomat enter the Summer Palace bearing a fine gift, a bust of the warrior-maiden Joan of Arc.  A fine gift from His most Catholic Majesty King Charles d'Bourbon.  The diplomat spoke with our reporter saying, "His Highness instructed the Diplomatic Service to deliver gifts to all the European Heads of State to show His Majesty's good will and noble intentions to bring France prosperously and peacefully into the 20th Century."

 

The fine gift from the most magnanimous monarch in Europe!