Boot Hill & Braunstein: Escapades in Norazona

     A couple Saturdays ago, the members of the Living Urf Club™ got together in Discord to play a game of Boot Hill in their alt-history setting of Norazona.  The game took place in a small town in Missouri.  There were three local characters and a band of disparate drifters; the locals were Sheriff Bass Armstrong (played by Hollyfelled), Reverend George Stuart (played by Night Danger), and the proprietor of the local watering hole the Golden Slipper Saloon Jeremiah "Turkey Creek" Oglethorpe (played by myself).  The drifters were: Frogan "Nutcracker" Zappa (RaptorJesus), Zan Van Gief (Polyfamous), Sam Slater (Jake), Seabass Johnson (Joshinyu), Barnum Bailey (StDewd), Cody Flynn (nekrodvna), and John Marinier (Intanius). 

Jeremiah "Turkey Creek" Oglethorpe

    Before the game began the Referee (Crom) sent out objectives and goals to the players and any information they had on the town and eachother (which was little). My objectives as the Barkeep were as follows: 

    I had talked with the Referee and decided that the Golden Slipper would be home to a Faro table, as well as allow players to play Poker amongst themselves at the other tables in the establishment.  I had also been contacted by Barnum Bailey to see if I would allow him to host a Knife Throwing contest, which sounded like fun so I readily agreed (for a 10% cut of the entry fee, obviously). The night began with a handful at the Faro table, a few in the back throwing knives, and a few of the brawnier drifters out in the streets wrestling.  I received a note from the Referee that one of my employees had overheard Barnum talking about the mysterious package, but I was so caught up in the Faro game (and keeping track of the various cheaters) I forgot to respond.  I was able to call out Sam Slater for moving his bets after the cards were drawn (he had a 9% chance of being detected at cheating) and John Marinier was also doing suspiciously well but before I could call him on it he removed himself.  Only one player was consistently at the table and obviously not cheating, Seabass Johnson.

    After about an hour or so of gambling, Zan Van Gief came in and called all the players wussies for not wrestling out in the streets like real men. The gamblers and bar flies quickly filed out to watch the fights and make some money betting on the contestants.  All except one, the affable and obviously trustworthy Mr. Johnson.  He asked me if I had heard anything about robberies in town lately.  I responded that I hadn't heard of any robberies but there was some mail that had been delayed, possibly due to nefarious means.  He asked what it was and I responded a package was sent by a friend to me that had not turned up, but a letter had asking if I had received it.  He said he had received a similar letter and asked if we could adjourn to the back room to discuss this privately lest the wrong person walk in off the street and overhear us. (Note: this was all happening in various Discord Voice channels, the Saloon, the Streets, and the Outhouse were the only open channels that you didn't need permission to enter)

    We stepped in back and he asked to see my letter.  I showed it to him and his eyes lit up, I hoped due to him being one of the drifters I was seeking.  Instead he responded by grabbing me, putting me in an arm lock and before I could defend myself with my knife, had not only subdued me but drained me of my blood! Seabass Johnson was a Vampire! (As soon as "Turkey Creek" Oglethorpe was killed, I minimized the Voice Chat, saw in the General Chat that Frogan had been knocking on the door for several minutes; had I seen it earlier, Oglethorpe may have lived!)

    The Referee allowed me to roll up a new Character, Little Tex, a drifter who was given 2 Goals: 1) Collect $200, 2) Live.  Little Tex rode up in to town, and his first stop was the Sheriff's Office to deposit his firearms (the town had enacted an ordinance against firearms being carried), from there he headed over to the Golden Slipper to see what he could learn about the area.  He arrived to a scene of chaos; while I was busy rolling up a new character and getting my new goals Slater and Bailey had gone into the back room of the Slipper to discuss something and stumbled upon the shriveled husk of "Turkey Creek".  Bailey had gone to get the Sheriff, and Slater was hypothesizing on what could have done this to the poor bartender, one by one the Players and the Sheriff entered the bar and we began discussing who the culprit of this grizzly crime could be.  The Sheriff then told us all to follow him to his office where we could discuss this further and lock up any suspect(s).

    Back in the Sheriff's Office we continued to eliminate suspects based on their alibis and as the focus narrowed in on three men, Seabass Jackson who showed up late to the street fighting, or Sam Slater and Barnum Bailey working together to accomplish the crime.  I bit my tongue, as a newly arrived drifter, and Bailey was put in the holding cell, Slater was eliminated as a suspect based on statements from one of the other players (I believe it was Marinier). While we were debating whether it was prudent to lock up a potentially innocent man with whatever monster had drained the poor bartender, Seabass threw a wrench in the works and accused Cody Flynn of robbing Van Gief while he was knocked out after the street fight.  All eyes turned to Flynn as he was asked to empty his pockets, but he had an ace up his sleeve; earlier in the evening he had contracted Frogan to watch his back just in case something like this happened.  Everyone began to surround Flynn, Frogan pulled a stick of dynamite from his boot, allowing Flynn a chance to escape.  As soon as the dynamite was produced and the fuse lit, a chorus of announcements in the voice chat of "I'm pulling a derringer from my pocket/sleeve/pants" flurried out.  Frogan was gunned down by Slater who was the fastest draw, Marinier stamped out the fuse, and while the debate resumed into Seabass' guilt or innocence the newly Deputized Van Gief took off after Flynn (chasing him through various voice channels until he holed up in the Church for a minute to plan his next move).  

    While this chase was going on, we decided that Seabass was just as likely a suspect as Bailey, but it would be inhumane to lock up an innocent man with a crazed and deranged monster.  Bailey would remain in the holding cell and Seabass would be shackled and taken by Slater (now also deputized for putting the madman Frogan down) to the County Jail a few blocks away.  Van Gief burst in letting us all know that Flynn was on the run last scene stealing a horse and heading out of town.  Little Tex agreed to join the Sheriff in the chase, while Van Gief guarded Bailey, Slater walked Seabass to jail and Marinier decided to hang back for an unknown purpose. We were hot on Flynn's trail and got a few miles out of town before realizing that Flynn had stolen a random horse and we weren't sure if we could catch him, our Referee made a quick roll to determine the quality of the horse and unfortunately Flynn had stolen a prized thoroughbred and we couldn't catch up.

    As we turned back to town empty handed the Referee informed us we could see the glow of fire coming from places in town; Flynn must have set them to cover his escape!  As we got back onto the main street, we heard shots ring out; the Sheriff ordered me to ride ahead while he covered me with his rifle.  I got out front of the Sheriff's Office to see Van Gief, Slater, and Seabass who was no longer shackled standing over a bullet ridden Marinier.  They explained that Marinier had attempted to bushwhack Slater and Seabass on their way to the County Jail; Slater had uncuffed Seabass so he could defend himself more easily, while Van Gief had arrived at the sounds of gunshots and fired into Marinier from an angle he wasn't expecting killing him.  We all walked back into the Sheriff's Office, Seabass was able to argue that the attempted hit was exoneration for himself and that the real killer must be Marinier (who also happened to be the most ardent advocate for Seabass being the murderer).  The Sheriff went for his keys to unlock Bailey and shots rang out from Seabass and Deputy Van Gief killing the Sheriff and wounding Bailey.  I reflexively fired at Seabass with my derringer hitting him twice, but both wounds can't take down the undead.  Slater holds his fire.  At this point a Mexican Standoff begins with Seabass on one side, Slater and Little Tex on the other.  Seabass offers to let Little Tex leave and take Frogan's body with him (a wanted criminal with a $1,000 reward), Slater agrees not knowing if he can trust the newcomer and presuming he can beat Seabass on the draw.  I don't think I stand much chance against a scattergun at this range and take the offer, keeping my eyes on the other two and back to the door, I drag Frogan's body out throw it over the back of my horse and leave the burning town to collect my reward (both of my objectives had been completed!).

    I stuck around in the voice chat to hear what comes next, Van Gief announces he's a vampire and lunges at Bailey, Slater fires on Van Gief.  Van Gief is down.  Seabass sends a hail of bullets into Bailey, killing him with the first round (a headshot).  It's now one on one.  Knowing that the monster is down, but assuming that Seabass is in cahoots; Slater turns to fire at Seabass.  Before he can squeeze the trigger the vampire is on him and lands a killing blow sucking the life out of Slater's veins.  The town burning down around him Seabass grabs his wounded and unconscious partner and drags him to safety.  Flynn has escaped (and revealed he had the sought after package), the vampires lived to fight another day, a pile of bodies are ready to be consumed by the funeral pyre of the burning town, Little Tex has escaped and will be $1,000 richer.  At this point its a little after 2 a.m., the game is done, but many of us stay on til 4 a.m. discussing the game and peaking behind the fog of war.  We're all hooked on Boot Hill and can't wait to play it again.  The next morning Slater's player posts this in the Discord and I heartily agree!